Archive for April, 2009

Little Things

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

by Rebecca Olivo

It seems that as time goes on, things either get slower or faster, but not much is in between. I find myself wishing for summer to finally get here…then when it gets here I want winter to arrive. I realized that I tend to wish my life away quickly so that I can be to some undisclosed place where things will be FABULOUS.

I know I have blogged about this before but it seems that I have this chronic condition of wanting tomorrow more than I love today. I expect something remarkable to happen so that these blogs are extraordinary but again…here I am forcing myself to live for today and PLAN for tomorrow.

I have some dear friends that I’ve been blessed with since my college days and I recall their desire to attain the highest degree they could in their field of study. In the meantime, I was already working in “the world” and I would occasionally look at their lives and wonder if they ever got bored with all that waiting. Now after all this time, it is I who have taken a second and third look at my life and desired to do a ‘makeover’ so that I could use ALL my talents and passions to feel as though I have done everything I was sent here to accomplish. I should have been born with racing stripes.

Summertime is coming and the family vacation is on the table. It would entail wearing a bathing suit (bad thing) but being in the ocean (good thing). Now how in the world will I get the whole happy package unless I DO something about that bathing suit issue? LOL…Wearing a parka on the beach is not exactly a viable option so here I have two months to get fit enough to feel comfortable?

After thinking A LOT about my bathing suit issue, I found myself at church hearing talks about temple attendance and preparing to enter that holy place with a clean soul, heart and mind. I yearn to participate anew in those sacred ordinances–and by now, a bathing suit doesn’t seem like such a huge deal!

Sunday night I dedicated myself to thinking more about the temple than about my bathing suit. I wound up with two pages of fix-me-ups…It was a long list, and I made it a matter of prayer…

And I realized something. I have been so hard on myself that I was talking myself out of spiritual peace and hope. It’s when I began my series of gratitude exercises.

When I arise from a long night’s rest, I say ‘thank’ when the first foot touches the floor, and then ‘you’ when the second foot touches the floor. With each step I take I repeat ‘thank you’ through the mundane things we do in the morning to ready for the day. By the time I am out the door, I have thanked Father for over 400 things…Brushing my teeth (thank you for my teeth), Putting on my contacts (thank you for my eyes) and so on…

I am grateful for every little thing because since I started this exercise, I seem to have a fuller heart each day and a wider smile. I am grateful for the little things…

Holy Places

Monday, April 27th, 2009
a2005236-katrina

Katrina, seen from space.

by Sam Payne

It’s getting tough to listen to the news, yes? That fact struck me when I found the constant barrage of news about the world economy eclipsed for a time—not by news of relief, but instead by news of a potential health pandemic with roots in Mexico City.

For relief, I’ve been turning to the words of prophets. Over the last few days, I’ve gravitated toward the October, 2005 conference report—words of prophets and apostles in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. In the days surrounding the destruction wrought by that storm, there raised its head a tendency among my neighbors to interpret the disaster as punishment, meted out by a just God upon a wicked city. President Hinckley was emphatic in his rebuttal to such a notion. His words (in that season’s priesthood session) were these:

“Now, I do not say, and I repeat emphatically that I do not say or infer, that what has happened is the punishment of the Lord.”

I appreciated that statement very much, if only for the reason that it allowed some of us to climb down from our high horses, and concentrate instead on more useful counsel.

And such counsel came. The same talk held some potent medicine. President Hinckley didn’t promise prosperity—or even survival—in the face of the storms that the world would face. He quoted Paul, who wrote to the Romans of the wages of faith in the Atonement. Paul said “For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord.” In Paul’s words are no promises of the avoidance of troubles, or even of death; they hold but the assurance of Eternal Life for those who put their faith in the Lord.

In that talk, President Hinckley urged preparation. He counseled us to have food and water on hand, of course, but he emphasized something else as well: righteousness. “We can so live,” he said, “that we can call upon the Lord for His protection and guidance. This is a first priority.” He cited the counsel in D&C 38, that “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear,” but clarified what type of preparation was most important by citing D&C 87, which says “Wherefore, stand ye in holy places, and be not moved, until the day of the Lord come.”

I would never in a million years try to downplay the Lord’s counsel that we should work to keep a supply of food, money, fuel, and water within easy reach. That’s counsel that I take very seriously. But I hope that—in addition to those things—I’ve developed a good supply of kindness, charity, humility, and obedience. After all, it’s holiness—perhaps more than just MRE’s—that will bring us to the calm at the center of the storms we face.

Going to Hell

Friday, April 24th, 2009
My wonderful family. Eliza, it might be noted, in second from the right, on the bottom row.

My wonderful family. Eliza, it might be noted, is second from the right, on the bottom row.

by Sam Payne

Every year, my mother’s extended family gets together for a week at a mountain resort. Good fun. Lots of religious diversity in that family. My Grandparents are Lutheran. My uncle is head of the music clergy for a Baptist church. Another uncle is finishing up a graduate degree in ministerial studies. And then there’s me, the Latter-day Saint.

I love my family very much. And while they love me, too, there has reared it’s head from time to time a tendency to look cleanly past any Christian principles I might attempt to live, and to be put off by the singular fact of my Mormonism.

With that background, here’s a specific memory: some years ago, during our week together, my uncle Rob caught my young sister, Eliza, in a couple of hours’ worth of conversation — a conversation that had at its heart the assertion that my sister would be condemned by God, for nothing but the fact of her Mormonism. I later related some of that conversation to my father. My father thought for a moment, and then said, “To condemn Eliza is to ignore everything that Eliza is.” He was referring not so much to the fact of Eliza’s Mormonism, as to the content of Eliza’s character. Get to know her, and you’ll agree. Uncondemnable. At least not by Uncle Rob at the family reunion.

And Eliza understands that, I think. Her conversation with my uncle ended with this parting shot: after being diplomatically assured that she was condemned to Hell, Eliza looked at Uncle Rob a little quizzically, and said, “I don’t think you’re actually allowed to send me to Hell.”

That door, of course, swings both ways. If I’m not careful, I might find opportunity to condemn those not of my Latter-day tribe – overlooking the godly content in the character of so many of those that surround me.

Quentin L. Cook, in the most recent General Conference, cited a reporter, who in turn was citing the conversion story of a Latter-Day Saint in Nigeria. Of this Nigerian convert’s first experience in an LDS church building, the reporter said:

“He immediately liked what he heard inside the chapel, especially that no one preached that people of other faiths were going to Hell.”

May that have been my church building. And may it have been yours. After all, when it comes down to it, we’re not actually allowed to condemn people (so why would we be inclined to?). Only one is. And he’s generally quicker to forgive than we are.

Talents

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

by Rebecca Olivo

I was reading in Mathew 25:15 about the talents that were given to the master’s servants as he left for a season and what he did upon his return. How he took from one his talent because he sat upon it and did nothing with it, while another doubled his talents.

Many consider talents to be limited to physical traits or abilities–sporting activities, the healing arts, musical inclination and such. But talents themselves go so much further and deeper than our own perceptions, or even our own ambitions.

Joseph Smith taught that talents were more than these things. In Teachings of the Presidents of the Church,” page 354, Joseph is cited as saying, “The reflection that everyone is to receive according to his own diligence and perseverance while in the vineyard, ought to inspire everyone who is called to be a minister of these glad tidings, to so improve his talent that he may gain other talents, that when the Master sits down to take an account of the conduct of His servants, it may be said, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things; I will now make you ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.’”

Talents are so much more than bravery, healing the sick, speaking in tongues, or being humble. A talent is literally any subject we desire to learn or understand, whether it be compassion for another, academic studies, or even smiling while weathering adverse conditions.

Often we asked by our bishop to perform in a calling we have no desire to be in, but often we accept. And when we do, we seldom feel adequate. In our heads, we know that “the Lord giveth no commandments to the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which He hath commanded.” The Lord says so, in 1 Nephi 3:7. But prior to that he states, “Therefore go, my son, and thou shalt be favored of the Lord, because thou hast not murmured”.

Often we may complain about our studies being difficult, or a job that seems like it won’t end. How often do we look at it like it is what it really is: the opportunity to grow in learning a talent? We are to be ‘thankful for all things’. I was thinking how I might be a better speaker, or a better teacher…That’s when I read this lesson. Then it hit me about talents. I could see through my life how I had tried to learn as many talents as I could, doing more and trying to learn more.

I am grateful for having the opportunities I have had and for being in different callings. I am grateful that He seen fit to ‘allow’ me to go through so much in my life time, “for all these things shall be for thine experience and for thy good” {D&C 122].

I hope you find a way to learn more about the talents you have been blessed with and a way to gain more, so one day we all can be invited to ‘come into the kingdom’ as the Master’s friend.

Columbine

Monday, April 20th, 2009

by Sam Payne

Today is the tenth anniversary of the shootings at Columbine High School in Colorado. This can’t be the first place you’ve heard that. Recaps of that day’s events, interviews with survivors, and pitches from authors who’ve written Columbine-related books are nearly ubiquitous on the web today. The people who lived through that ordeal have been anticipating this anniversary, some of them with dread. Anne Marie Hochhalter, for example (paralyzed form the waist down, she was among the worst-wounded of the Columbine survivors), has moved on with her life in inspiring ways – but anticipating this day, she said, “I just want Monday to be over.” Who can blame her? Tough memories to be dredged up again.

Me, I’m trying to push aside the media attention – fraught with a decade’s worth of hindsight – and get through to my actual memories of the day. Then as now, I was far from Columbine on April 20, 1999. I was teaching a seminary class in Utah when the shootings took place. I had a student in my class who had recently moved from Littleton. He knew a lot of the kids involved. It was a difficult day.

My careful memory says that in the days that followed the shootings, news outlets turned their focus to speculation on what may have turned Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold into killers. The target of the speculation: movies. 1999, the year of the shootings, had just seen the release of the Keanu Reeves vehicle “The Matrix.” I remember watching debates in which scholars of all stripes weighed in on whether media was to blame for the tragedy at Columbine. The debates were almost always laced with bullet-riddled footage from “The Matrix.” The argument is an important one, but in April of 1999, the presentation of that argument was quite purposefully incendiary – relentlessly controversial, by design. That, at least, is what my memory says.

I still don’t dare speculate on what the responsibilities of art and media might be in extreme cases like the Columbine shootings. There’s too little or too much evidence on either side to be able to make tangible the effects of art, and it seems we only really ever ponder the question in hot blood – in the moments after something outrageous has happened.

As a songwriter (and as such, one who finds himself positioned on the “media” side of that argument), I’ve tried to pay close attention to what’s being said on both sides. But the truth is, artists are a tricky bunch. We eagerly embrace the notion that people can be affected for the better by what we do, but are less willing to accept the notion that our work could affect people for the worse.

As for me, I embrace the notion that art has real, character-altering power. I interpret that fact as a responsibility, and I hope to bear that responsibility in a way that would draw people to the Lord. I wish that my children could grow up in a culture in which that responsibility was widely reverenced among the artists whose work they are exposed to. Artists can help us – ought to help us – grow in virtue and strength.

Brigham Young agreed. With regard to the power of art and artists, he is quoted often as having said that if he were ever set down upon a primitive island, and given the task of “civilizing the natives,” he would “straightway build a theater for the purpose.”  With regard to artists (in this case actors and actresses), he encouraged members of the church to:

“pray for them, that the Lord Almighty may preserve them from ever having one wicked thought in their bosoms, that our actors may be just as virtuous, truthful, and humble before God and each other as though they were on a mission to preach the Gospel.”

Oh, that artists, actors, and musicians would work influenced by such a belief.

But they often don’t – or at least they’re not motivated by the same notions of virtue and strength that motivate me. As a father, I fervently wish that musicians (and other artists) created as if their work would affect behaviors and attitudes. But such is likely not to be. And as such, I feel compelled to instill in my children the willingness to do that work – the work of listening (and viewing, etc.) as if what they heard would affect their behaviors and attitudes.

Personally, I believe and hope that art has power. Its creation comes at a great cost. And if it’s just for fun, frankly, the cost is too high.

This Mother’s Prayer

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

by Sherri Schatz

My one and only daughter is getting married in two weeks exactly. What a flood of emotions I have felt in preparing for her wedding. Many times I have actually seen my daughters life play in my mind like one of my favorite movies. Familiar with the scenes, but occasionally surprised. “I almost forgot that part,” I seem to say as I recall some sweet memory, “and I love that part!”

The moment she was born, my husband and I could not believe we had a girl after our two darling boys. A girl! This would take some getting used to. My husband was terrified he would break her. I made several matching dresses for her and me. Silly I guess, but I loved having all of the girly stuff. We soon realized she would not break. When she was a toddler, I came running into the living room to my two boys screaming. Their baby sister had them both on the ground, her two fists full of their hair. A fierce competitor, she once scored 42 points in one basketball game!

The scenes play on in my mind: painting her tiny fingernails (she was a biter), many hilarious shopping trips together (her favorite trick to pull on her mother? While at a drive-thru, she would honk the horn over and over again WHILE DUCKING so it looked like I was doing it!). So many laughs … so many tears.

My daughter is brave where I am not. She is responsible and organized, goal-driven, adventurous, fun, and always the life of any party.

Now a new scene unfolds in the movie of her life. I am only a supporting actor in this one. This is how it should be and it is all very good–but it is hard to let go. I wonder–have I taught her all she needs? I want so much for her. I want it all for her. I am so proud of her. I pray for her, I will always pray for her as for all of my children.

Years ago one of my very dearest friends asked a very skilled storyteller to write a song for her boys. He did. I love the words to that song. I always have and now that my girl is ready to fly, I recall them. They’re written for boys, but in my mind, the song expresses how I feel about my daughter. It’s a song, maybe, for moms and dads, boys and girls alike. It’s called “A Mother’s Prayer,” by Sam Payne. Here are the lyrics:

A Mothers Prayer (click here to listen)

“It was long upon a memory I held him
And I watched the tiny reaching of his hand
But the child whose life unfolded while I dreamed it
Stands before me in the body of a man”

“Let the boy I knew remain to give me comfort
Let his baby laughter ring behind my eyes
Let him linger for a moment in this moment
‘Til the man I see before me up and flies”

“Let him fly against the troubles that surround us
Keep the cares of this old world from off his brow
May the weary come to rest in his cool shadow
May his kindness like a canyon river flow”

“Make his arms enough to bear away each sorrow
Keep him steady as he stands against the wind
Won’t you put some noble weight upon his shoulders
And won’t you give him strength to bear it ’til the end”

“Take him gentle in the arms of each far journey
And although some hearts are difficult to move
Make it clear to every traveler who sees him
That he bears the armor of his mother’s love”

Again, I think of those words when I think of my daughter as she begins this new adventure. Our children are our greatest treasure. How bittersweet it is to grow and see them move on. But what a pleasure to see them move on in confidence and righteousness.

Signature of Angels

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

by Rebecca Olivo

I’ll admit it: My child is the best at everything she touches. Her baby babble was clearly not babble at all and her singing is not off key. It’s the signature of angels that we are not accustomed to here on Earth! After all, she is my child…lol

Before I became a parent, I was in awe at how other parents cooed their children’s accomplishments with the vigor of a Superbowl game. What seemed so insignificant; not spilling the drink at the table, teetering on tiptoe to get a letter in the mailbox, seemed to constantly be rewarded by positive coos from these parents. How time-taxing it seemed from the outside!

Now that I’m a mother, I can see with new eyes and boast rather eloquently about those little things that were monuments to childhood. It made me think that what it boils down to is parental pride. How much prouder are our Heavenly parents of us as we take on the role of proud parent and nurture these tiny souls into a world full of criticism. As their own personal cheerleader, it’s amazing to see how confidence is built on love and you never tire of ‘just one more cheer.’

It has been a personal goal of mine to criticize with love and always keep the door open to a nurturing hug of acceptance no matter what the circumstances are. It makes me wonder how many times our Heavenly parents wanted to give me a hug no matter what my mistakes were. It’s a matter of forgiving yourself that takes all the joy out of learning. There they are, standing tall and proud of us even if we’re in our 80’s.

Not everyone sees my child as I do and there are faults to be considered on both parts, but the glorious thing is that there are our ‘real’ parents, watching us with pride and supernal love. I have to remind myself of that and when I really soak it in, it is a sobering feeling that we are all SPECIAL.

Easter Ivy

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

ivy

by Sam Payne

Almost a decade ago, my family and I moved into a lovely little house in the middle of St.George. Before we moved in, the landlord showed us proudly around the home’s uncommonly beautiful yard. The house was set back from the road behind a screen of enormous mulberry trees. Up the great trees twined green ivy. The ivy hung, shaggy from the trunks, and spread up and around the picket fence that bordered the property; covered it, really, so that what once had been a picket fence was now more like a wall of ivy. The ivy snaked around the goldfish pond, and climbed sturdily up the outside walls of the house.

We quickly discovered that the house was already sort of a neighborhood landmark. We’d often begin to give someone directions to our home, only to find them interrupting us with, “you mean the ivy house?” We loved that house. We loved the ivy. But sometime during the first winter we were there, I thought I’d spend an afternoon trimming it. Frankly, I didn’t know anything about ivy, but I thought a good haircut couldn’t hurt. Well, I must have gotten lost in thought or something, because when I stood back to look at my handiwork, the yard looked like five days growth of beard, shaved over by a cross-eyed barber with a dull razor. Wiry ivy stems poked out here and there, ragged and brown. Holes in the ivy gaped like open wounds, and lawn ornaments long covered by the green vines lay exposed like naked baby birds. Before my afternoon’s work, our yard had been a page from better homes and gardens. Now it was the more like the wicked witch’s haunted forest from The Wizard of Oz. I remembered the pride with which our landlord had shown us around that yard, and I was horrified. I felt as if I had killed a friend of his.

I sat down on the porch, eyes glazed over, and imagined what he’d do to us when he saw what I’d done. And with trembling hands, I dialed his number on the phone. “Mr. Hopkins,” I said, “I think you’d better come over here. I think I’ve done something awful.” Well, five minutes later he was in my driveway, scanning the yard for the awful thing I’d done. “What’s the problem,” he asked, not bothering to hide the anxiety in his voice. I pointed over to the yard, barely able to raise my eyes. “I think I’ve killed the yard,” I said. “I know you worked a long time to grow that ivy. I think I’ve wrecked it for good.” Well, when I did look up, my landlord, Jim Hopkins, was laughing. He couldn’t help himself. “Call me in the Spring,” he said, “and we’ll see what you wrecked.” He pulled out of the driveway and drove away with a smile on his face.

For long winter weeks, I walked sheepishly past the ivied yard, and it seemed to lie there, gazing at me in silence and accusation. I’d try not to look directly at the yard as I walked past on the way to the mailbox. And as such, I almost missed the miracle until it couldn’t be ignored. Long about April of the next year, over the course of what seemed about two days, the ivy did just what you’d expect. When I dared look it in the face again, expecting to find the same wiry, sheared-sheep, hacked-up yardscape that I’d created a season ago , I found instead lush beds of green, shining ivy, full as a healthy head of hair. The yard was drenched in it. Big green leaves spilled joyfully over the picket fence, and ran earnestly up the trunks of the big mulberries. The whole yard seemed to gaze at me with a smile, good-naturedly whispering, “psych!”

We lived in that house for nine years, and those years included many ivy haircuts and many returns to almost uncontrollable vigor. In those days, when someone would get nervous about trimming too much here and there, someone else would invariably say, “trim away, it’s not like you could kill this stuff.” And I learned a lesson from my yard. In spite of my best efforts, life wins.

Take a moment to ponder. You’ve read the same story I have, about the man who was thought to have been killed, only to be raised up on the third day, more vigorous than ever before. And the world at Easter has always testified of that story; life bursting the shell that death would close over it. It’s a perennial reminder that even though we sometimes find ourselves immersed in what seem like endless winters of sorrow or darkness, seasons of joy lie ahead of us, coming on as surely as spring does, without fail. A reminder, even, that while everybody dies, nobody dies for very long. Even in the face of that most incontrovertible of winters, life wins.

What a weekend!

Friday, April 10th, 2009

by Sherri Schatz

What an excellent conference we just enjoyed. I love conference weekend. I do wish that conference could play continually in my brain. So many great talks with so much great counsel. I was thinking it would be nice to have a certain talk play in my head as the situation arose in life–like instant recall (my recall is getting weak. Time for ginko baloba). Even though I cannot accurately recall all of what was said in conference, I do recall the spirit I feel when I am prepared to feel it. I appreciate that the messages seem specifically designed for us as individuals. I have always been amazed that we all glean something very different from conference. We hear what we need to–a message from our Heavenly Father to us. Words that light my recollection of truths that I recognize. I need the guidance of those uplifting words of hope.

Music has a way of uplifting me and helping me keep perspective–calming me and giving me the strength to go forward. Music, too, has a message for us if we are in tune. Just like the scriptures say something different to us each time we read them, songs can say something new to us each and every time we hear them. We have an exceptional supply of beautiful music. I am exposed to such talented artists, who do not take lightly the power of song.
Every time the conducting speaker announces the conclusion of conference I kind of start to hyperventilate a little. A bit of PANIC overcomes me, and I think, “no tell me more, I’m sure there is more I will need to know before six months is up!” But then I remember the Ensign will be out soon, where I can read and absorb the messages slowly–underline and dog ear. Whew! Thank goodness. Now I can breathe. So … when does the Ensign come out exactly?

Be Not Afraid

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

amyvanwagenenby Rebecca Olivo

I was thinking about life in general. How our own personal circumstances give us different challenges and how we manage to wade through them. In my life, it comes down to being single in the new millennium. Being single in a married church is a curious position to be in.

For instance, my little one was in Primary a few weeks ago and the lesson was all about fathers. “Hug you daddies…Tell them you love them every day…” and so on and so forth. Unbeknown to me at the time, there my little one was, thinking about her deceased father with sorrow and dismay. Gratefully, the Primary president came up to her and put her arm around her. What they talked about I haven’t a clue but it managed to bring a smile back on her face.

It has been a blessing that I work in an environment that provides something to uplift us daily. The music we play talks to me and it doesn’t matter what my marital status is. It’s like a gift that speaks to me as a daughter of God. It fills in some gaps that I would not ordinarily have at my reach and carries me sometimes through the moments were all I want is a big strong hug. It’s the intangible but very real power of the Spirit that flows through our music that helps me make it through the day. Much like the Amy Van Wagenen song, ‘Be Not Afraid.’ Somehow it makes my load lighter. I don’t have the ability to quite put it into words but I know how it makes me feel. More courageous…more hopeful…and yes, less afraid.

If you’re single, I share your plight but it’s not over ‘til it’s over. Even if you’re not single, our voyage is the same. This is but a time to learn to cherish all of our relationships one by one. For me, the lull of all these musical notes carefully crafted into a piece of magic is heard in the background with every step I take.

It truly is a gift that I am exposed to such inspirational music on a daily basis. Without that I would have the FM station blaring in the background about dysfunctional relationships and pining about what I don’t have. Our music acknowledges what I DO have and it brings me full circle (without gaps) about who I am, that I am loved by a kind father in heaven and that I do, in fact, have the strength and the tools to make it just one more day with happiness and peace in my heart.

What the future has in store is a mystery to me but I have to remember to live TODAY. Tomorrow will take care of itself and the past is DONE. Today is a pretty wonderful thing when you take to heart the words of the Savior, “Be Not Afraid.” I encourage you to take a close listen and use the ears of your heart.